When Is It Not A Rebound?

I was telling one of my friends about my new romance. Ever the skeptic, she advised me to not get too caught up with him. To keep in mind that this is only a rebound.

I’ve never really liked that word. I know people do rebound relationships, or flings, or whatevers, all the time. But what makes it a rebound? What makes it…not? Why can’t it just be my next relationship?

I consider this simply my new romantic endeavour. I’m not trying to fill any vacant spaces, any holes in my heart. My friend believes that for now, I should probably just focus on filling one hole in particular. Or two or three, depending on what you’re into.

I don’t know. I’ve always had an issue with keeping things strictly physical. I’m too much of a hopeless romantic. But I promise, to you and – most importantly – myself, that I’m not looking for romance with just anyone that comes along. I think my days of naively stumbling into the arms of whichever guy is most convenient at the time are over. I’ve learned I need to be wiser about who I’m getting involved with.

I mean, heck. My peers are popping out babies left and right and putting rings on it and I’m…so very far from that. It’s not in the cards right now for me. At one point not too long ago, I honestly thought it could happen for me. Now, I’m back to square one. And completely unsure of whether I’m ready for that sort of thing in the near future.

I digress. I keep telling myself, since my friend said this, that this is not a rebound. It’s what I believe to be true. I think my boyfriend is worried this might be the case too. It’s not. I don’t want him to believe I’m not genuinely into him, that I’m merely filling some void. Because I don’t mean to sound conceited, but I generally don’t have issues attracting men, as I did in my nerdy high school days. I chose to be with my boyfriend because he’s an amazing person. Not just because he’s there.

 I don’t feel this is a rebound because I was, and am, 100% over my previous relationship. I was over it long before it was officially buried in the ground. I don’t dwell on what could have been, or wonder what he is up to. I forget what he looks like. The sound of his voice is a distant memory. It really does feel as though it never happened. I was single and perfectly fine with that status for two months up until I met my current guy. I’m far too wrapped up in him to look anywhere but at the awesomeness happening now, all around me, and forward. There’s nothing for me in the rear-view mirror.

I just had a look at some synonyms for “rebound.” Ricochet, recoil, reverberation, echo, bounce, recover. I’m not using this relationship to recover from anything in the past. I’m healed. And I bounced back perfectly fine all on my own. So, tell me, dear readers. Is it still a rebound if you’re over the last person?


4 thoughts on “When Is It Not A Rebound?

  1. I don’t think so, not if you are over your last relationship. I think what you’re feeling is clearly recognized by you as someone you’re happy to venture off with!
    How long has it been since it ended?

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